Lots of things have changed since I last posted. We have had 3 foster placements since November...two of those returning! J-bird and J-man have been back with us since April and May. It appears that they will be with us till November (J-bird) and February (J-man). That's when their case will be over, however anything could change (as it already has several times). After those dates we never know what might happen. They could be returned to their parents, or they search for family for adoption and then it would be open adoption past that.
I have been discovering a lot about myself having two toddlers at home. It has been a joy to be home this summer, and also at times I want to pull my hair out. All part of being a mommy :).
When I began this log is was completely focused on my weight loss journey for the last time. However that was the problem...focusing on weight loss. I didn't focus on #HealthyHabits like I should have been, and I find myself here having my weight back up. For the last couple of weeks I have been really down on myself for allowing it to happen. I've tried to refocus and struggled yet again. There is a disconnect with the mental. I want to loose weight, but deep down for the wrong reasons...I want to look better. Granted that's a GREAT reason, but it doesn't help me stay there. I was soooooo close and let myself go. I can blame the holidays, but then why didn't I refocus after that. It was always something...and there will always be a something in life. Don't get me wrong, and every now and then occurrence is one thing, but using the next big thing that is really close as an excuse to let go it's healthy.
So where am I...I am searching myself yet again. What do I want and why...I need to change my outlook from the inside out. This blog is no longer my weight loss journey...but my entire journey. Changing my outlook on life and living. Stay tuned as I go through this journey. It will be not just loosing weight, but learning more about myself, about my walk with God, and about parenting. I have many books lined up to begin reading and plan to start making time for that. Let the transformation begin....
